קסם וחסר מזה

Enchantment and lack thereof

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Location: Columbus, Ohio, United States

Friday, July 30, 2004

Athens Celebrities

Midnight marked Erika's 21st birthday.  A few of us celebrated by going to the Blue Gator to see The Izzys perform.  It has sort of become a tradition for friends to buy the birthday boy/girl drinks at this bar.  Of course, the goal of most 21st birthdays is the bathroom.  Erika embraced her legal right to drink with enthusiasm I have never seen.  I congratulate her.  Thanks for spilling water all over me.

The Blue Gator was at near capacity, there must have been thirty people in and out of the club that night.  Welcome to Athens in the summer.  The concert was truly a star-studded event.  Among the celebrities were Terry Smith, editor for The Athens News, and  Dr. Ralph Kelsey, a former professor of mine.  I had recently written Mr. Smith a letter very similar to the one I sent my legislators.  Tonight, I introduced myself and reminded him of my letter.  I asked him why I had not seen it published in the paper.  It must have gotten lost somehow.   After explaining my stance on the issue, he encouraged me to send him another one, indicating that he might make a special article for the unusually long editorial.  That would be pretty cool.  We'll see.

I am a drummer and it has always been a dream of mine to play in front of an audience.  I can only think of two things when watching a drummer perform.  The first is whether or not I think I could pull off moves like that.  The other is how much I wish I were up there playing.  There have been times when my desires have gotten the better of me and my common sense was severely limited.  One time I was almost forcibly removed from a venue as I attempted to join a band on stage. 

I have looked upon percussionists with admiration for many years.  At any show I go to, my friends encourage me to ask the musicians for permission to jam with them.  I know the answer to the question before I ask it.  Rather than look like an idiot, I keep my mouth shut and enjoy the show.  But the urge just increases.  It seems that with every show, my desire to perform overcomes me.  Tonight I made a resolution that on my 21st birthday, June 21st 2005, I will drum with a band.  It doesn't matter what genre the music is, or how badly I play, I am going to get at least one song in.

Tonight, I was lucky enough to speak with The Izzys themselves.  This New York-based band were some cool gents.  I explained my drumming fantasy and my birthday plan.  Mike, the guitarist, expressed interest in my idea.  They are returning to Athens in September.  Mike extended the courtesy of an early birthday present.  He didn't promise, but implied the possibility of my wish coming true.  I am truly excited for that.  I hope it works out.

All in all tonight was pretty good, I didn't really drink since I had to drive, but it was fun seeing Erika fall on her face, put a hole through the table, and hit her head on the door.  Tomorrow is her real birthday party.  Much more fun, much less business.

Thursday, July 29, 2004


In lieu of constructive activities, I Googled myself today.

Jeffrey Friedlander is:

A sucessful corporate attorney at the New York City Law Department

Former President of the Board of Trustees of All Souls Church in New York

An Anesthesiologist in Hackensack, New Jersey  (It's Alphabetical)

A columnist for Rivals Digital Media  (Look at the bottom of the page)

Owner of MTS Frames Inc. in Clifton, New Jersey

A blind man in Cincinnati  (see 'What A Town!')

Vice Chair of Heart and Soul Charitable Fund

Apparently, I reviewed my old car 4 years ago  (I don't remember that)

I am sure I could have found several other Jeff's if I had put more time into it.  Strangley, I couldn't find any west of Ohio.  It's remarkable what kind of stuff one can dig up on the internet.   Try Googling yourself, its fun.  You might actually find something about you in that crazy mess.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

I found something funny on the internet today.  I must warn you that it is disgusting and wierd but it made me laugh so enjoy.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

It's not cool anymore!

Tabfest was a good time but not great.  I sometimes hear stories from people who went to festivals and didn't have that much fun.  This used to perplex me, how could you not have fun at a no-holds-barred funfest?  Well, I had one of those times.

Don't get me wrong, it was a fun vacation between summer sessions and I needed to get away.  But I come from Tabfest in a different state of mind.  Perhaps grown up a little more.  Since I've been to college, I've had trouble saying "no".  Just about any time you ask me to drink, get high, or have sex, I say "yes".   This is a dangerous way to live, and up until this weekend, it had been my approach to life. 

With this "just say 'yes!'" way of life, you'd think that something like Tabfest would be my escape into psychedelia.  It started out that way...

This place was different than the other festival I had been to.  The people were not as friendly, the place was poorly arranged for festivals, and (to quote Ben Harper) "The drugs [didn't] work."  Well they worked alright, there wasn't a sober person to be found there, but things would turn sour for me.  The first night was fun, but not the blast that I remember from Sunshine Daydream.  In fact, by day 2 I wasn't really in the mood for hard stuff. 

Sometime in the afternoon, without having taken any form of psychedelic drug that day, things got trippy.  Trippy is not always good, especially when you look at a friend beside you, only to see that they have a different face.  They sound just like your friend, but they look like someone you have never met before.  I lost a sense of history, I couldn't account for the last few months of my life. 

Am I still a student at Ohio U? 
How long have I known these people?  A day? A week?  Years? 
What drugs have I done today? Ecstasy? Acid? Mescaline?
Am I dreaming or is this reality?

I began to get scared, my friend beside me, still sounding like herself, had an appearance like a total stranger.  I'm not sure what I must have said or done there, but everybody was fucked up so I doubt it mattered.  I fled to the woods, our campsite, to find Crystal, my ground, the one friend there that for some reason I knew would understand and help.  I came to see her, and explained what was happening, but I have the feeling few words left my mouth.  There was no way to differentiate from what was happening in my head and what I was actually doing.   I'm sure I was blabbing about some nonsense: Which reality is true?  How do I choose it?

Things then got worse.  It felt like someone grabbing my head.  Everything faded away.  The band playing off in the distance faded to silence.  The bright green, forest around me became a black room.  In this room, I was sitting alone.  The once green ground transformed into patchwork, then into a red oriental carpet, filling the whole room.  In the middle of the room I could see the campfire in front of me, but it was in an open fireplace.  In the distance I saw what looked like distant silhouetted people moving about.  Even Crystal seemed to fade away into the black walls.

Confused and scared, I yelled at the top of my lungs, "OH MY GOD!"  Suddenly, I was back at the campsite, Crystal was minding her own business.  Realizing I had just screamed aloud, I covered my mouth.  I asked Crystal if she heard me scream, she had not.  "maybe you should lie down."

I went to the tent to sleep, but sleep did not come.  Lying down helped somewhat, at least I was alone, nobody for my mind to trick me about.  My heart was racing, it felt like I couldn't breathe deep enough.  

Am I dying?  I've asked myself that question much more than I would like.

The hallucinations seemed to be subsiding, I decided I should write my thoughts into my book so that I could perhaps analyze my condition when things came back to normal.  Here are some excerpts:

"No more drugs! Don't give in! It's not worth it."

"I don't like what I've become. People change faces. Its not cool anymore man. I am causing permanent damage."

"There is nothing cool about this anymore"

"I abuse my privilege, health, and person.  At least I'm well liked."

"Am I in a coma?"

I was right in every assessment, except the coma one.  I could finally see the wrongs in my ways.  I could see what drugs were doing to me, I could see how much better life could be without them. 

When I started doing drugs in high school, nothing felt cooler.  One of the main reasons I started was because of how cool it made me feel.  "I'm not afraid to do it.  I'm immune to the consequences of my actions. I'm just having fun"  This was my justification.  Drugs aren't cool anymore, they just aren't worth it for me.

I take advantage of my privilege, I continue to get mediocre grades despite my parents sacrifice to send me to school.  I take my health for granted and never consider the toll the drugs are taking on my body.  I abuse my privilege of person?  That doesn't really make sense.  maybe I meant personality.  I suppose that works, the drugs I've done have no doubt altered my personality, make me think and act differently than I used to.  Perhaps negatively, perhaps positively, you decide.

I am causing permanent damage!
At least I'm well liked.  Am I?

I was not myself during this moment.  I suppose it could be called a moment of clarity.  Even though everything was not clear, I could see many things as I had never before been able to accept.  I know its trite, but I could see "the error in my ways".  I was not myself, but when was the last time I had been?  At that time I had no answer for that question; I still do not.

The beginning and the drug-free end of the weekend were a good time; it was good to be with friends.  I hope to continue my drug-free streak and maybe even start getting good grades.  This may be a new chapter in my life, I hope this works out.  I'm excited to see what I can do. 

Wednesday, July 21, 2004


Tabfest is coming.  It's hard to study for finals I am so excited.  Tabfest is a psychedelic 2-day charity music festival.  These festivals are always mind-blowing for me for several reasons.  Once you arrive, its like you step outside the jurisdiction of all law enforcement for one weekend.  The variety and quantity of drugs and alcohol there will amaze anyone.  And there is no "man" there to kill your buzz.  In fact, the people working at the festival are most likely as fucked up as you are.

To describe the feeling I would like to quote Homer Simpson:

"I could smoke pot right in the President's little monkey face, and he'd just have to sit there groovin' on it."

It can truly be a surreal time in which you become friends with everyone.  Complete strangers will approach you, perhaps join you at your campsite, and greet you as an old friend.  I believe this is the way the world should work, we should all be able to love one another and experiment with mind-enhancing drugs at the same time. 

At festivals, the common, perhaps unnecessary, protocols for personal interaction are done away with.  When you are there, you just are.   If you want to do something, you just do it.  It is truly the definition of "groovy".  People won't judge you for acting strange, for speaking incoherently, everyone there understands, accepts, and shares. 

The last festival I went to, in Terra Alta, West Virginia was named Sunshine Daydream.  It was truly a magical place and my first real festival.  Unfortunately, I learned a hard lesson at this festival, Put your belongings in a safe place before you get retarded.  I managed to loose my cell phone and car keys in the same night.  Probably from rolling around in the mud and wrestling with my friends.  Luckily, both were found in the morning and I was able to avoid getting in trouble. 

I am truly excited about this weekend, I will bring my party journal to record my circuitous thoughts as the weekend progresses.  I unfortunately won't be able to bring my camera as that violates the rule above.  I will share the great times with you, and we will all have a good laugh.  Talk to you then.

Sunday, July 18, 2004


On to more politically charged topics. I read in the Athens News last week an editorial, very well written and informative to me; I want to share it with you. It got me fired up a-plenty because it involves the reinstatement of the draft, something I oppose. Following the article I will further discuss my stance on this topic.

"You better believe that Bush
plans to reinstate the draft

To the Editor:
Heard about George W Bush's designs on reinstating the draft? Not many people have. Notwithstanding the occasional stammer­ing, tight-lipped denial of any such plans from Bush administration officials, the fact of the matter is, quite plainly, if George W Bush is re-elected, we are going to see another mili­tary draft.
An honest look at the state of American foreign policy, coupled with Bush's chest thumping assertions that he will not "back down" but will carry the newly ensconced norms of this policy to their logical conclu­sions' reveals that a new draft, in the event of his re-election, would be inevitable.
Think about this before you laugh it off as impossible and stumble down to Lucky's for another case of Natty Light, or dismiss me as what frequent letter-writer James Yerian would call a "radical, hate-mongering leftist fanatic:'
American forces, even after being supple­mented with record numbers of reservists, are already stretched to the absolute break­ing point, and casualties in Iraq continue to mount. American military commitments extend beyond Afghanistan and the Middle East, and Korea continues to be a threatening situation.
The president's National Security Strategy calls for an extended and permanent American military presence beyond the conventional parameters of Western Europe, reaching across mainland Asia, North-Central Africa and else­where.
The gears are already spinning. The Univer­sal Training and Service Act is now pending in both houses of Congress. This legislation would have the effect of automatically pressing all males and females between the ages of 18 and 25 into some form of government service. The Selective Service System has sent out calls for volunteers to staff the local draft boards, with the goal of having the entire system fully operational by early 2005.
College and Canada, the old Vietnam-era loopholes, died years ago. The draft laws were amended in 1971, with the goal of making the system more "equitable". Instead of a four-year deferment, students would finish the current semester and be on the way to the front lines in a matter of days.
If you think it can't happen to you, that they're not really serious, that I'm just another pissed-off lefty trying to fire up the base, well, let me know what you think after spending five years in Federal prison and paying out the $250,000 fine (the mandatory minimum sentence for draft evasion). Oh, and good luck getting any more student loans, or even getting back into a state school. And as for employ­ment, with the felony conviction on your record, you'll be able to pretty much write your own ticket. Sure.
People falling within the aforementioned age group would do well to vote for John Kerry as if their lives depended on it. Because, quite literally, they do.

Tyler DeVeny

PO Box 342

 Albany [OH]"


After doing some research into the topic, I was shocked to realize that Mr. DeVeny was correct in many of his assessments.  Indeed the Universal Training and Service Act is in both the House and Senate, and it provides for every able American between the ages of 18 and 26 to be obligated of no less than two years of military, governmental, or national service. 
The bill is noticeably vague, leaving very few details regarding special circumstances, it also provides extensive liberties to the President.  Careful inspection of the bill will unveil that every section of the article mandates that the President may change said article at his discression.  The passing of this bill in it's present form would give the President uninhibited control over who goes into battle, how long they stay there (providing they aren't killed), and where they go. 
Before you label me as a partisan, I want to assure you that I am not scared of George Bush.  I'm also scared of John Kerry, Ralph Nader, and anyone else who has the power to increase my probability of dying.  Replacing the words "the President" with "George W. Bush" scares me no less than "John Kerry" or even "Ghandi".  As long as a person I do not know has any say over whether I live or die, I'm scared. 
I am an American citizen who doesn't wish to fight, who also doesn't want to face harsh penalties for not fighting.  I will [reluctantly] serve my country [in its current condition] over myself but I don't want my life on the line for a war which I do not support.  Naturally, I looked to Section 8: Conscientious Objection for some loophole, some way out.  Sadly the only provision for conscientious objectors is for someone "who claims, because of religious training and belief, exemption from combatant training included as part of that military service".  In other words, you have to have proven religious reasons to not fight, and you still have to serve in some other capacity!  I predict that the Quaker religion is about to become very popular.   
Lets have a history lesson:  Remember the Vietnam War?  That was the last time the Government chose to enlist conscripted soldiers to fight a war overseas.  As the war progressed there were increasing accounts of soldiers disobeying orders, overruling superior officers, using drugs, and violating international law.  Most of these infractions were at the hands of American troops who rejected the war.  By the end of the war over 50% of American soldiers in Vietnam regularly smoked Marijuana (so much for the best fighting force in the world).  Fortunately this was before drug-testing was utilized by the military.  Today an American soldier who serves his country but tests positive for drugs faces serious punishment like court Marshall, imprisonment, and six-figure fines.
Of course, you would think that after the disastrous actions of conscripted troops in Vietnam, the Government would shudder at the thought of drafting American citizens to fight overseas in a marginally more popular war.  Alas, they believe that with more stringent rules and regulations along with sticter penalties for misguided objectors, they can continue to fortify our military and hopefully avoid another Vietnam. 

There may be a solution to this problem,  Mr. DeVeny suggest voting for Kerry, a good first step.  John Kerry is definitely not George Bush (so far so good).  Kerry has stated his intent on continuing the war in Iraq (that's no fun).  You can't just trust the election to solve all the problems this country has.  John Kerry can't fix half the problems that are George Bush's fault, no one person can.  Both candidates are similar in my eyes, they have corporate ties to multi-billion dollar interests who constantly buy and sell their way through the government.  Though restructuring the government would be a great way to end corporate rule over our lives, I don't think we have time for that before the draft is scheduled to happen (soon after the election). 
The true solution to this problem is communication with the people who are charged to vote for or against this resolution.  Write your legislators!  Tell them how you feel.  It may seem like small potatoes but it works.  Doing so you will not only receive very polite and informed correspondence from these influential lawmakers, but you can actually get something accomplished.  Politicians listen to the most voices not the loudest voices.  If a majority of letter writers write Congressperson XYZ against the draft, XYZ may in fact vote in against it as well. 
For those of you who brush this off, please take it seriously.  Our lives are at stake.  Write a short, polite letter (NOT EMAIL) to your representative, and use spell check for crying outloud!  They count each letter they receive and consult these tallies when its time to vote.  Save the revolution for another day, this is a serious issue that affects us all.

Our party last night was a hit. Below are pictures of things that happened to me.

I want a pillow made out of this stuff

She is so happy to see me

Me doing a one-armed kegstand

Feet party (I'm naked!)

Mmmmm, massage

Definitely a successful party.  It is important to note that nobody barfed off the balcony.  In fact, I am not aware of a single puker last night, but I don't remember too well.  Let's see what I wrote in my party journal. 

"I took a mad shi-at in the shitter and Emily and Jenn went in and smelled it!"

Oh yeah, now I remember, true story. I'll leave your imagination to the rest of that anecdote but in my defense I did turn on the fan before I left. 

Of course, Crystal's letter (see article below) was definitely the highlight of the night.  I am thinking about sending it to Bob Taft on her behalf.

That's all I can think of for now.  Thanks for coming all who did, if you didn't come, you missed out on the drug-beer-sex orgy and you'll never get another chance, ever! (not never).

Saturday, July 17, 2004

A Letter to Governor Taft

Patriotically inspired by my letters to congress, Crystal decided to write a letter to Governor Bob Taft.  It is transcribed as follows.
Dear Mr. Governor,
Please give me my driver license back so I can smoke more.  Please don't send me to rehab.


In brief: 
Its been an awesome weekend, John Feltenberger and I got our first keg and it is currently on ice; we hope to drain it very soon.  Last night was John Broz's birthday and many enjoyable liberties were exercised therein.  Tonight, I hope to see everyone wasted, and at least one person puke off my balcony.  If nobody else does it, I WILL! 
In other news:
 I recently wrote a number of legislators about a new bill.  This bill would enable police to require those pulled over to take a drug test.  If the test comes back showing any traces of drugs in the drivers system, he will be charged with DUID, Driving Under the Influence of Drugs.  My letter points out the obvious flaws in this system and the terrible injustice it would mean for thousands of unimpaired drivers.  In addition it would be a terrible blow to American civil liberties and just like the Patriot Act, bring us closer to an autocratic police-state.  
The letter: 
Dear So-and-So,
I hope my letter finds you well.  My name is Jeff Friedlander.  I am currently a student at Ohio University here in Athens.  I study Electrical Engineering and I am in my junior year.  This is my first time writing to you and I am excited at the opportunity to communicate with a person of your authority and reputation.  While I am enthralled by this correspondence, I am sorry to say that the topic I choose to discuss is less than pleasant. 
While reading The Athens News today I stumbled upon an article about HR 3922, the Drug Impaired Driving Enforcement Act of 2004.  As you may know, the purpose of this bill is to encourage states to implement drug testing programs for drivers stopped by the police.  You may also be aware that the intent of the bill is to reduce the number of drug-related traffic accidents.  I strongly agree with the motivation behind this bill, driving under the influence of anything is unacceptable and puts others at risk.  Unfortunately, this bill threatens non-impaired drivers, people who may be innocent of driving under the influence.
HR 3922 states "the crime of drug impaired driving is committed when a person operates a motor vehicle while any detectable amount of a controlled substance is present in the person's body"
[1]  It is this clause that concerns me greatly.  Almost all drugs are water soluble; this means that they are detectable by means of urinalysis for only a few days. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, "Marijuana is the most commonly used illicit drug in the United States."[2]  Thus it can be interpolated that the majority of drug-impaired drivers are under the influence of marijuana.  People guilty of driving under the influence should be punished to the letter of the law, but what about drivers who are not intoxicated, yet are still guilty of impaired driving based on the definition above?
The drug Marijuana behaves differently from other drugs in that it remains detectable for several weeks after use.
[3]  Therefore a person can test positive for Marijuana consumption long after the intoxicating effects have worn off. The U.S. Department of Labor has concluded that the average duration of Marijuana intoxication is 2-4 hours.[4]  The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration states, "Most behavioral and physiological effects return to baseline levels within 3-5 hours after [Marijuana] use."[5]  If this is true, then for the days and weeks following a Marijuana session, while the user is not high, his or her drug test will still indicate impaired driving as it is defined in HR 3922. 
There is an obvious problem with the proposed plan of testing drivers for Marijuana intoxication, current Marijuana tests cannot differentiate between present intoxication and past consumption.  Someone who smoked a joint last week, but is driving safely today can still be found guilty of intoxicated driving, while he or she is most certainly not impaired. One may argue that my latter statement is inconsequential, that a person found with Marijuana in his or her system has still broken a law and therefore should be punished.  While smoking Marijuana is illegal, being forced to submit to unprecedented drug testing without a warrant is a violation of one's Fourth Amendment rights.  If this bill were to become law, it would be the first time in history that an American citizen with no previous criminal record could be faced with a fine or imprisonment based solely on a random drug test. 
Serious consideration must be given to this issue.  Punishing citizens simply for having marijuana metabolites in their systems will have no impact on vehicular safety and is an encroachment on American civil liberties. As it stands the act would allow the United States to penalize its citizens for crimes they did not commit.    I urge you to discuss this topic with your colleagues and inform them of the information contained herein.  Roadway safety and impaired driving are serious concerns in the United States, I agree with the intentions of the Drug Impaired Driving Enforcement Act, but I respectfully call for the men and women of congress to realize the ramifications of this bill.
Thank you for considering my concerns and acknowledging the potential intrusion of civil liberties that this bill may initiate. I welcome your thoughts on this important piece of legislature and I look forward to further correspondence from you.  I wish you the best of luck in your future accomplishments.

Jeffrey B. Friedlander 

[1] LaTourette, Steven C., et al. Drug Impaired Driving Enforcement Act of 2004. US 108 Cong., 2d sess. HR 3922. 9 Mar. 2004. 06 July 2004 .

[2] InfoFacts - Marijuana. Mar. 2004. National Institute on Drug Abuse. 06 July 2004 .

[3] Marijuana: Facts for Teens. Mar. 2003. National Institute on Drug Abuse. 06 July 2004 .  (I dont know why thats bolded, I can't fix it and I intend no emphasis)

[4] Appendix B: Drug Category Profiles. U.S. Department of Labor. 06 July 2004.

[5] Drugs and Human Performance Fact Sheets - Cannabis / Marijuana. National Highway Traffic safety Administration. 06 July 2004

The Recipients:
Senator Mike DeWine
140 Russell Senate Building
Washington, DC 20510
Congressman Dennis Kucinich
1730 Longworth
Washington, DC 20515 (That one was actually an accident)

Congressman Steven C. LaTourette
2453 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515

Congressman Sandy Levin
2300 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

Congressman Rob Portman
238 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

Congressman Jim Ramstad
103 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515

Congressman Mark Souder
1227 Longworth House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515

The Honorable Patrick J. Tiberi
113 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

Honorable George V. Voinovich
317 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
I chose these lawmakers because they were either in charge of my state, district, or their name appeared on the bill itself (except Kucinich, woops).Coincidentally, and by no intention of my own, every one of these distinguished lawmakers are Republican (except Kucinich, whoops).   
The icing on the cake:
This bill is supported by the Walsh Group.  One of the largest drug-testing corporations in the country.  They are lobbying congress in an attempt to push it through and "make the highways safer" of course, generating hundreds of millions of dollars in a tax-funded drug-testing program at the same time; but that is surely a by-product of the service that they are providing the American people.

In conclusion:
I hope to post tomorow about less serious things, the party should be a great time, hope to see you there.  If you can't make it, I will try to bring the fun to you through the wonderful words of this live journal.  Good day.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004


I just lost $5 in poker, in less than 5 minutes.

A conversation just so one can hear himself speak

Ever have one of those? Where the purpose of the conversation is not to exchange information, to pass the time, or even for entertainment or leisure; instead, just so the other person can talk about himself?

I had two 2 hour tests today, I can never tell what grade I think I got on them, and no matter what grade I guess, I always manage to do much worse. If I had to predict I would say a 75%-85% on my statics test and anywhere from 30%-75% on my signals test. The reason for the wide range is simple: signals class is a big piece. I won't use this journal for to gripe, because nobody wants to read it that.[grammar on purpose]

Then again, I can't imagine that anybody wants to read any of this. If I weren't writing it, I wouldn't read it. I was hesitant to have a weblog for a long time. My theory: Of all the millions of live journals and such, how many are actually read? I bet a great deal of them are only read by a select few people and very seldom at that. We as a society are becoming too well connected, information saturated, if you will. There is so much information out there that most of it goes unexplored, or only seen by a few people who spend all day on the computer. I feel like a loser putting my thoughts out here for everyone with an internet connection to see. As if I don't have friends, or even human contacts to speak to, so I broadcast my thoughts on the www. Of course this is not the truth, many of my friends will tell you that its hard to get me to stop talking (especially high). I have to keep convincing myself that I am doing this out of boredom and curiosity, and that I am not a loser.

Still contemplating whether or not to continue this thing.

As some of you may know, I keep a party journal. I write about the good times that one tends to forget. In my latest entry I had some interesting things to say. The next morning I was quite surprised to read what I had written. The following is an excerpt:

Friday July 9, 2004

...I saw a girl sleeping outside in a conveitobe [convertible]. Not-oa-attrautive.... I am so hot that I don't know what happens here. SWEAT!....OH GOD! So hot. Good night ... So tired ... Time to ruin a new pair of sheets's, NIGHT ALL!

I guess it was funnier when I read it, because I don't remember writing that stuff. I assume nobody is reading anymore at this point.

And now to tie these unrelated subjects together. A live journal is a conversation in which one speaks to hear himself talk. This may be a motivation behind why I am doing this. Maybe I should only type in this thing when I am under the influence of mind-expanding drugs, because this is uninteresting and lame otherwise. The next entry will be a good one, so stay tuned.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Today my professor wrote this on the board:

If you don't know what this means, don't worry, neither do I. Unfortunately I should know what this all means since I have a test over it tomorrow which is worth 33% of my grade. I hope I can figure this shit out, it seems to come easily to everybody else in the class, but they of course have taken higher level classes which aren't explicitly prerequisites, but they damn well should be. UGH, what am I saying? I had better get studying.

First Timer

I have been debating the idea of a weblog or live journal for quite some time. I guess I'll write some stuff in this and try not to look like an idiot. I will decide whether to make this a permanent thing based on response from readers and how annoyed I get with writing this stuff. Though it may be a good distraction from homework, something I am always looking for.

I recently moved into my new home. This spacious apartment has just about everything! Unfortunately I couldn't be farther away from anything. Friday night while all kinds of fucked up, I managed to stumble home from uptown, man what a piece. The walk took 20 minutes and I was all alone and wasted. By the time I got to the bottom of the hill that I needed to climb to get to my apartment, I just wanted to get to my nice bed with the spandex sheets. I sprinted up the hill to theoretically expedite sleep, I can't remember the last time I was that exhausted, wap.

I managed to find bed at 2:30 am and about 4 hours later, had to awake for Lowe's orientation. No big deal right? a 2 hour glossing over of the rules and regulations, right? No, wrong! 8 hours of watching training videos (4 of which were about employee theft - how many ways can you say "Don't Steal!"?) and reading the employee manual, cover-to-cover, aloud. I love high school. Ironically, I was the only person in the room under 30 and the only non-NASCAR fan in the place. Working at Lowes is going to be fun. To top it all off I was hungover something fierce and We're Rollin' Pretzels was the only soothing nourishment around for miles, but even their water cost money. Fast food is ridiculous, they still make a profit on the healthy alternative to pop which would probably be cleaner if I drank it out of a toilet for free anyway. That's all for now, gotta go to my 10:00 class since I generously granted myself an extra hour of sleep by accident and missed my 8:00 am, whoops. Bye.