קסם וחסר מזה

Enchantment and lack thereof

My Photo
Name:
Location: Columbus, Ohio, United States

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Appendicitis

I have had acute appendicitis since Thursday night. At first I thought I had pulled an abdominal muscle, but the pain increased. By Friday night, the pain warranted hospitalization. My parents, abhorrent of the witch-doctors of O'Bleness, drove straight down to Athens to my rescue. After a painfully bumpy car ride to Columbus, and a 2-hour waiting room wait, I was seen by a civilized doctor.

They wanted to be sure that I really had appendicitis, and not a simple kidney stone or bowel obstruction, so they had to perform a series of tests. Instead of simply taking my word for it, I was injected with radioactive indicators intravenously, and through two other orifices. While my bowels were filled with a barium cocktail, I had to endure three CT scans. After all that, the doctors had a hunch that my appendix was inflamed and had to be surgically removed.

I underwent emergency surgery at 4:00am Saturday morning. I had never had surgery before, so this was a bit frightening. When I awoke from the deep sleep two hours later, I found myself shaking violently and uncontrollably. Though I was fully conscious, I could not control my body and was powerless during the 10 minute seizure. My body was in shock from the surgery. After the shaking had mostly subsided and I was able to speak, I requested pain medication from a nearby nurse. The medicine made everything OK.

The rest of my two-day stay in the hospital was rather routine and boring. The highlight of which was marked by the removal of my drainage probe. To drain excess infection from my abdominal cavity, an 8 inch probe had been inserted through my skin. This probe connected to a bag at my bedside. When the time came to remove the drain I almost vomited from the pain. I again requested medication.

By Sunday night, I was home. My four laproscopic incisions still prevent me from climbing stairs frequently but I am getting better by the day. I will look like a weirdo on the beach because they shaved my happy trail.

The doctors have informed me that my final exams will have to wait, I will take them come Spring quarter. My Spring break will hopefully be unaffected by this ordeal. I have been prescribed Oxycontin for my pain, this is as appreciated as the two-week vacation.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Political Cartoonage



A look at the Bush Administration's new plan for Social Security













Spending countless hours playing Halo 2, Doom 3 or Medal of Honor helps you focus on the important things in life, like computer-generated mass murder. It's a valuable skill set, especially for those looking to pursue a career in the military or The Republican Party.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Arnold is numero uno

"I don't need any money; I have plenty. This is why it is easier for me to take this money." - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger


Could this be a government conspiracy?

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Behold: The power of words!

The anterior cingulate cortex - an area primarily associated with emotion and attention - is essential for conscious pain. Opioid-type analgesics (including morphine and codeine) are the most effective type of pain-killers. They block the receptors in brain neurons normally filled by enkephalins - the brains own painkilling chemicals, which are released by acute pain stimuli. Opioids also damp down activity in the anterior singulate cortex.

NEW ELECTION

In order to easily evaluate future presidential candidates without the worry of being corrupted by Fox News, I have devised a new way to determine your political backing. The method is simple and follows.

1. Read up a little on each candidate (including independents). Don't worry my fellow stoners, you don't have to read a lot. Just learn about their platforms and choose an issue from each with which you most strongly disagrees.

2. Write a formal letter to each candidate, asking them of their reasoning behind this stance and imploring them consider your perspective. Be sure to be detailed and thurough, and watch out for spelling mistakes.

3. Send all letters at the same time. Judge by the response you get (turnaround time and quality of response) which candidate you will vote for. Don't watch mainstream, TV media, read the newspaper, focus on public media [C-SPAN(.org), NPR(.org), WOUB(.org)]. Make an educated decision.

If every American were an informed citizen, elected officials would be forced to care about them, rather than their money or power.