How to get an official fake ID through your university

This chapter will teach you how to get your very own fake ID made for you by your university. An example of such an ID is shown below:



By the end of this chapter you will be an expert in fake ID getting. Just follow the easy steps.

Advantages:

This ID is official, no bouncer can legally take it away from you; don't try it on a cop, ya idiot.

It has your picture, hologram, and a birthdate of your choice. A lot of bouncers just look at these things briefly and wave you though.

It is official looking. Notice the magnetic stripe on the back, the toll-free number on the back, the official logos, identification numbers, etc.

It works at just about any bar or small grocery store.

It only costs $22.

If you play it right, it will be the last ID you ever buy.

Your university makes it for you!

You can buy beer with it! My actual birthday is 21/06/84, at this age the bastards won't let me buy beer. Thanks to my sloppy handwriting, that 4 is now a 2 and I can drink.

Disadvantages:

Most gas stations won't accept it because it is not government-issued. But they too cannot take it away.

Mind the fine print, "This card is intended to verify cardholder's student status and is not for age verification" (Though no bouncer has ever noticed that)

They expire at the end of the year, but most bouncers don't care about that either.

Excuses:

I'm sure you'll be able to think of some yourself, but plan ahead. If they won't take it because it's not government-issued, point out the 1-800 number on the back, tell them they can call it for age verification, they will not call. If they ask for a second form of ID, your regular student ID will do just fine, as long as it does not have your birthday on it. It's good practice to carry a second picture ID with you that doesn't have a birthday on it. You may notice that my birthday is amiss, I'll explain the year in a moment. The day and month of my birthday are opposite from the American style of MM/DD, rather the makers of this card use the European date style of DD/MM. This confuses more people than you would imagine. A simple explanation that the card is meant for Europe should settle them down. You'll be put on the spot sometimes, it's important to stay cool, be confident (like you do this all the time), and be prepared.

How do I get one?:

1. Locate your university's office of study abroad.

2. Go in and request an application for an international student ID. Provide as few details as possible as you want to leave no room for suspicion.

3. Fill out the application with all your normal information IN PENCIL. The back of the form is a questionnaire, fill it out with total bullshit, be sure to indicate that your international study program is not university affiliated, just to be safe.

4.
a. Conveniently write your birthday as if it were a few years earlier on the application.
or
b. Write your real birthday on the application IN PENCIL.

5. Take the form to the university registrar's office so they can verify your enrolment. (They will simply look for your name, or ask you for further identification so they can look up your schedule on the computer. Here at OU, they simply check your enrolment and stamp your application with the seal, they do NOT look at your birthdate whatsoever. If you have already written your fake birthdate and they ask you about it, laugh it off and tell them how tired you are from studying, you must have made an honest mistake. Promptly fix this mistake IN PENCIL.)

6. Once that official business is over you may alter the information on the application however you want. Though I only recommend changing your birthday to the fake one if you have not done so already. Putting your real name on the ID will allow you to use a second form, and if anybody finds it they probably won't ask questions. It doesn't even have an address!

7. Return the form to the international study abroad office, pay them $22, and your ID should be ready within the week.

Results:

Hey skeptics, let me assure you that this 7-step plan works. Not only have I done it successfully, but I have helped many others do the same. I know the system here and nobody upstairs has caught on yet. I know its possible at other schools, and have accounts of students at other universities doing the exact same thing.

The office of study abroad as well as the registrar's office at your school are far too busy to bother with re-checking your information, believe me. They won't give it a second thought.

Follow my 7-step program to success; I guarantee you results! Not only will you be the coolest guy in the dorm, the man making the beer runs, you'll also score chicks. Buying beer for underagers is a great way to make a few bucks in tips too.

If you like beer, and you aren't 21, I highly recommend this plan to success. There is little risk to you, you can claim any fraud as a simple mistake, and it's your word against theirs. I can nearly guarantee that the powers that be have no idea of this loophole, as there is no mention of it anywhere on the internet.

I hope today's lesson has enlightened many of you. Please let me know if you succeed, I will be happy to hear that more underagers are breaking a foolish law that shouldn't exist. Now go out there, expert; get that ID!

Don't think of this ID or buying underage as an illegal act; think of it as an act of civil disobedience, non-violent protest against a law you do not believe in. We all make a difference.

Special thanks to Rachel Mace for inspiring me to write this How-To segment and
to John Feltenberger for showing me the way.