Leave it to Family Guy to make you happy.

Peter: It all started when I was 18.
Hippie Chick: Here Peter, try this. (Hands him a pill)
Peter: What is it?
Hippie Chick: It's a cheeseburger.
Peter: Of course I know now that it wasn't a cheeseburger. But back then I would have believed anything.




Vacuum Cleaner Repair Man: I fixed your vacuum, turns out there was a half-eaten meatball clogging up the intake.
Peter: Well, did--did you save it?
Vacuum Cleaner Repair Man: No.
Peter: You bastard.