To Whom It May Concern:
Today I list a few things that you may not know:
- When John Broz returns to Athens, we will welcome him with an open-bar dinner and then roast him. As Rachel Mace and I agree, he is very "roastable". It will be a great opportunity to deride this Nader-menagerie.
- The labia minoris is an unnecessary organ for sexual activity (with me). But I am definitely not choosy!
- I am training to be a self-taught OB/GYN. As George W. Bush once said:
- Konneker Research Facility is the scariest place ever. It's like insane-asylum horror movie meets sci-fi alien/dead people horror movie meets some serious Area 51 shit meets I am high.
Oh man, what a crazy and scary place. There Moose showed me the giant freezers which can hold over 60,000,000 blood samples at a time. The blood samples are kept at -80 degrees Fahrenheit. I stuck my arm into the freezer, but moose warned me that the cold temperatures would burn me. Even if the power went out, these freezers are powered by battery and generator backups.
Walking around in this 40,000 sq. ft. compound I saw star-trek style automatic doors and security cameras that really made me feel uneasy. And I only got to see the first floor! The constant reminders of "Radioactive Materials Within" kind of scared me as well. The most remarkable things that I got to see were the Geiger counters located outside the laboratories. They are there so someone can measure his radioactivity exposure before, and after he uses the lab. I'm not sure what kind of crazy things happen in Konneker, and I don't really want to. I was afraid to peek into some freezers, I was worried I would see a dead body in there or something.
-I went commando tonight.
- At Dance or Die I kept finding myself asking the same question: "Is that guy a guy or a girl?" The Union, once voted the 10th best dive bar in the state, is turning into a gay bar (look at the last line on the page). And they don't have Schlitz!
- Rachel Mace acts like she is always on her period.
- There is so much beer in the fridge at work that there is no room to put my lunch.
- I did a striptease for two girls tonight.
- I can trick good-looking girls to come into the office by shutting their internet down till they visit me.
- Killing begets killing. Peace is the absence of killing. Peace is the absence of ignorance.
Love,
Jeff
- When John Broz returns to Athens, we will welcome him with an open-bar dinner and then roast him. As Rachel Mace and I agree, he is very "roastable". It will be a great opportunity to deride this Nader-menagerie.
- The labia minoris is an unnecessary organ for sexual activity (with me). But I am definitely not choosy!
- I am training to be a self-taught OB/GYN. As George W. Bush once said:
"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."- I am going to become a CPA after getting my bachelor's in EE. Then I'll become Moose's accountant, because balancing a checkbook is a lot easier than balancing differential frequency-domain sinusoidal Fourier Dirac-delta response equations" .
- Konneker Research Facility is the scariest place ever. It's like insane-asylum horror movie meets sci-fi alien/dead people horror movie meets some serious Area 51 shit meets I am high.
Oh man, what a crazy and scary place. There Moose showed me the giant freezers which can hold over 60,000,000 blood samples at a time. The blood samples are kept at -80 degrees Fahrenheit. I stuck my arm into the freezer, but moose warned me that the cold temperatures would burn me. Even if the power went out, these freezers are powered by battery and generator backups.
Walking around in this 40,000 sq. ft. compound I saw star-trek style automatic doors and security cameras that really made me feel uneasy. And I only got to see the first floor! The constant reminders of "Radioactive Materials Within" kind of scared me as well. The most remarkable things that I got to see were the Geiger counters located outside the laboratories. They are there so someone can measure his radioactivity exposure before, and after he uses the lab. I'm not sure what kind of crazy things happen in Konneker, and I don't really want to. I was afraid to peek into some freezers, I was worried I would see a dead body in there or something.
-I went commando tonight.
- At Dance or Die I kept finding myself asking the same question: "Is that guy a guy or a girl?" The Union, once voted the 10th best dive bar in the state, is turning into a gay bar (look at the last line on the page). And they don't have Schlitz!
- Rachel Mace acts like she is always on her period.
- There is so much beer in the fridge at work that there is no room to put my lunch.
- I did a striptease for two girls tonight.
- I can trick good-looking girls to come into the office by shutting their internet down till they visit me.
- Killing begets killing. Peace is the absence of killing. Peace is the absence of ignorance.
Love,
Jeff
2 Comments:
Scariest. One R.
Thank you anonymous proofreader!
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